The nation had the chance to meet Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff at the DNC last night, and it was great to learn more about him.

But high-performing women leaders absolutely recognize a Doug Emhoff when we see one. He is indeed a unicorn, one that has the courage to love and support a high achieving woman leader despite the unique demands.

Not everyone is cut out for this role, and often women are already in their relationships or partnerships when they decide to pursue high-level leadership. So often, she winds up with a man who is not prepared to support and love her the way she needs. This can cause all sorts of conflict.

Still other high-powered women, find dating to be a huge challenge and find themselves alone more than they’d prefer.

In my research for my latest book, Yes Please! 7 Ways to Say I’m Entitled to the C-Suite, I uncovered examples of how women leaders can sabotage their career aspirations by coupling with the wrong man.

How do you avoid it?

Anne Chow (She/Her) graciously shared her story with me along with some great advice that worked for her and her husband, Bob Moore as they raised two amazing young women while she was smashing glass ceilings at AT&T.

Find out what characteristics to look for, dating while managing expectations and who to avoid at all costs if you want to soar like MVP. Hint: selflessness, compassion and an abundance mindset are top of the list.

By the way, take this positive affirmation with you and repeat it often:

“I DESERVE a partner who supports, respects, lives and advocates for me and your leadership aspirations.”

If that is what you want, you should have it.