She anchors One World with Zain Asher and Bianna Golodryga weekdays at 12pm ET on CNN International and CNN Max, a new seven-day-a-week/24-hour service on Max, Warner Bros. Discovery’s streaming platform.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve believed in the power of gratitude. It can change lives. I've seen it. By shifting my perspective -- even just a little -- to make space to appreciate life’s blessings, however small, I become much more rooted in the present moment, more connected in my relationships, and far more at peace. A genuine and intentional gratitude practice has become an essential part of my morning routine. Most days, it's as simple as sitting quietly for 15-20 minutes and giving thanks to whoever is up there for all of my blessings (of which there are many).
Once a month or so, I host an intimate dinner with 15 women to strengthen our individual and collective sense of gratitude. After the food is served, each person spends 4-5 minutes sharing what they’re most grateful for in their lives while the rest of the group listens. There’s no complaining, no gossiping, no criticism and no blaming allowed. It sounds simple, but the experience is incredibly intimate and powerful. It becomes a safe space where each person shares pure, unfiltered gratitude while a group of people -- many of them strangers -- listens intently. You can learn a lot about a person by what they’re grateful for. And there’s almost no small talk and no masks. We are raw, authentic and real. And by the end of each dinner, we are connected in a beautiful way.
I learned some time ago that whatever I focus on shapes my reality -- and so of course there's a direct correlation between gratitude and overall happiness. In this era of social media, I can easily waste my time comparing my insides to other peoples’ outsides and wishing I was funnier, prettier, skinnier, more successful or just different. I know I'm not alone. Many of us struggle to remember how blessed we are, especially those of us fortunate enough to live in developed countries. My parents grew up during the Biafra War in Nigeria, where starvation was used as a weapon of war. My mother spent more than a year eating snakes and bugs to survive. The fact is, I’m a CNN anchor living and working in New York City. I don't struggle for much. But I can so easily fixate on what I don't have or what I think I need to achieve to be happy, that I forget how incredibly lucky I am. It can become a never-ending game of whack-a-mole that leaves me feeling drained and disconnected. I’ve been there before, and I really don’t want to go back.
When I first started an intentional gratitude practice, I would simply reel off a list of things I should be grateful for, without feeling it. It was a soulless ritual. I’ve learned over time that gratitude is a feeling, and that my practice leaves much to be desired unless I actually feel it. It's not always as easy as it sounds. And so, I really try to take the time to meditate upon my blessings, to feel them in my heart; to feel the hope, the love and the happiness. Most days, I’m much more intentional about it than I used to be. It makes a difference in my energy and my mood throughout the day. The other big change in my approach is that I'm now committed to sharing my gratitude through our dinners. I get an incredible benefit from sharing my blessings with others, and holding space to feel theirs.
